Trigger warning for sex tourism
PARADISE: LOVE - TRAILER
On the beaches of Kenya, they’re known as “Sugar Mamas:” European women who seek out African boys, selling love to earn a living. Teresa, a 50-year-old Austrian and mother of a daughter entering puberty, travels to this vacation paradise. She goes from one Beach Boy to the next, from one disappointment to the next, and finally she must recognize: on the beaches of Kenya, love is a business.
So are we supposed to feel bad for the white lady or nah?
why does the media keep tryina make me feel sorry for rich, amoral white ladies? I can’t do it…
I see these women a lot when I go to Mombasa. They’re literally just sex tourists and I side eye this film for trying to humanise them
I AM SO ANNOYED right now. I am so annoyed right now.
this is disgusting
also a good reminder that it isn’t only white men who engage in sex tourism
WHITE WOMEN ARE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN COMPLICIT IN WHITE SUPREMACY
This stuff is very rampant all over Africa and the Caribbean. In Jamaica, they call it “rent a rasta” or a “rent a dread”. Divorced white women are blowing their alimony payments on “rent a rasta” in Jamaica. See a trailer for a documentary of it here.
In Nigeria, there are small pockets of women from the UK who have “rent boys” in cities like Port Harcourt, Uyo and Calabar. They prefer those places because they are very hospitable to foreigners, and it isn’t as congested or hectic like Lagos for instance. They can come and go as they please, and the likelihood of them getting scammed is much lower. They have boys the posted up in flats, and they visit them several times a year.
Make no mistake about it though, these women are predators. Their rent boys are usually young, around 18 and 19. You will rarely see them with men over 25. The younger ones are easier and cheaper to maintain, and they have high sex drives, which is why they are there. It’s a commodification of a taboo; sex with a black person. They get to live out their wild fantasies, and then they go home to their mundane, boring lives.
I’m always weary of white people in Africa in general. Be it ex-pats, vacationers, NGOs, UN peacekeepers, church groups or anyone else. There always seem to be ulterior motives with them, no matter how benevolent they appear on the surface. They will find a way to impose their sexual will and desires over people who are less fortunate. In the DRC, UN “peacekeepers” were violating young girls. Child prostitution was rampant, and many were leaving girls pregnant. See here. This type of thing is widespread.
When white folks go to some tropical getaway where only black and brown folks are, the impetus for a lot of those trips are cheap thrills and cheap sex. They didn’t fly half way around the world just to lie down on a beach. Especially if it’s a solo trip. They could have done that in locales much closer to home. 50 year old white men don’t go on solo trips to Kenya, the Dominican Republic or Thailand to take in the culture and to see the beach. They go for cheap sex, often with minors. White women are following their lead.
Anyway, what irks me about documentaries that focus on white women who partake in sex tourism is that they always try to humanize them, or make them out to be helpless women looking for love. No, these women are predators who are exploiting young men for sex. These dudes are poor. These white women aren’t going after the movers and shakers in society, or people with money in the countries they visit. They know what they’re doing and their targets are the poor and vulnerable. They wave a few bucks in their face so they can have their way with their bodies. This is what it is.
Be weary of white people in general in Africa? There are white people who live in Africa who are not looking for cheap thrills but were simply born there and had no choice. I understand what you’re intending to say but your wording needs to be adjusted slightly.
Towards the film, I don’t understand who in their right mind sides with offending party. Just because it makes a better and lighter film? Completely against how the film makers decided to frame this movie.
re: the bold
Anytime I’m remotely critical of white people in Africa, someone always makes this point. I usually ignore it, but I won’t today. This is the first thing that this person had to tackle and comment on. Out of all what I typed, this is was what they needed to address first. Ok then.
I’m an African. From the Niger Delta to be exact. It has been destroyed and exploited by white people, so my lived experiences tell me I should be especially wary of them. Places I visited regularly to see extended family have been destroyed and polluted. My people can’t fish and they can’t grow crops. It was their livelihood for generations. All that is left is ruin. Some of the white people responsible were born, bred or resided there because Royal Dutch Shell, BP, Chevron, Willbros Group, Exxon Mobile (btw Bill Gates is the largest shareholder in this company. Don’t believe his philanthropic BS. Exploitation is always at the root.) and other multinationals have been sending white people there to rob and exploit us for a very long time. Many of these white people live there and raise their families there. They are there eating good food, dancing to African music and fucking (literally and figuratively) African people, while their parents plunder the minerals in the country. These are the sons and daughters of a colonizing and brutal force who are only there because of unmerciful might and massive greed. There is no other reason. None. They didn’t emigrate to Africa at the behest or with approval from the locals. The driving force has always been greed. They came, they saw, they conquered. They seized lands that weren’t theirs. I won’t ignore that, or the history of white people in Africa.
The history of white people in Africa has a repeating theme, and it always ends with them propping themselves up at the expense of indigenous Africans. Usually in some kind of imbalanced relationship where they get to exploit the indigenous and claim the mineral wealth and assorted treasures for themselves. That’s when they aren’t sexually exploiting the locals, imposing their religious beliefs via missionary work, blindly working with unscrupulous NGOs who do more harm than good, claiming the rights to land that isn’t theirs, participating in slum tourism and exploitative photojournalism, or supplying the instruments of warfare to militias and warlords that will exacerbate unrest and civil wars, which makes it easier for them to further exploit the land and the people. We need to think about who facilitates the flow of weaponry used in African conflicts in the first place.
White people don’t go to be humble residents or to respect their host African nations. Not in the past, and not in the present. They don’t go to Africa to take a back seat to indigenous Africans, they go to commandeer and control. Often with bought and paid African leaders they use covertly, so that they can work behind the scenes and shift blame when the shit hits the fan. They impose their ideologies on unsuspecting people. They don’t look at the indigenous Africans as their equals. There is always paternalism, and Africans are always their subjects. They always go to Africa to take something. Even the white person who goes to Africa on a self-discovery trip to find themselves also takes. The people and the lands become a tool and a backdrop for whatever self-discovery crisis they are going through, and they will usurp the culture and land for their own benefit. It’s always about them and how they can benefit. Even when they appear benevolent, it’s always about them. The Africans are their backdrop. They cannot help it. This is how white supremacy works. It is systemic. It doesn’t matter if they have good intentions. Power dynamics will overrule intentions.
The children of white African nationals don’t get a pass because they had no choice in their place of birth, or because they don’t realize that they are part of an occupying force. Being citizens of an African nation by virtue of birth changes nothing. You need to think hard on how those Europeans ended up in Africa in the first place. Wherever there is a sizable population of white people in Africa, ask yourself how they came to be and how white lineage started on those lands. Once you come to terms with those findings, realize that those findings don’t get wiped out because those white people gave birth to kids on the continent, or because they have been there for several generations.
What kind of point is ‘someone didn’t have a choice in where they were born’ anyway? Does anyone have a choice in where they are born? That’s quite an irrelevant statement to make, and I’m not sure why people continue to make it as if it matters. Even when black people are being exploited by white people on their own lands, someone has to chime in to defend white people. It’s very unbecoming, and it lets me know what your priorities are.
It would help if you took a deep breath and calmed down. My family history includes white African lineage. They were not there to conquer or steal lands or even to simply just do whatever they wanted. My great grandfather was orphaned in South Africa and worked as a child in a diamond mine. Not the ideal lifestyle and not what you’ve gone on ranting about white supremacy. He worked his own way difficultly and managed to get to England to live the rest of his life. My family does not come from money in any generation. Many were orphans in one way or another - some due to war, others due to rejecting parents, others just sadly cast away. No one crusaded through any other culture taking anything away.
It honestly frustrates me to read and listen to talks of racial inequality in all aspects. I don’t segregate between which race is perceived better, given more attention, or whether it is politically incorrect to point out flaws in speech or behavior. So the fact that you’ve flown off the handle at me for pointing out a flaw in your writing just proves to me the type of person you are. Using anger as a shield…well it’s not even worth continuing. You’ll likely respond with more angry words and rants. It’s truly not worth my time nor energy.
I prefer to actually have conversations and debates rather than having an aggressive argument with people who refuse to take off their blinders.
Have a good day. Or night. Or morning.
I’m not angry. I’m far from angry. I’m very cool, calm, and collected thank you very much. People like you cannot understand systems of oppression, and you tend to look at issues on an individualistic level. You do not understand privilege. You do not understand that a white person being poor does not mean that they don’t have privilege, and that they wield that privilege like a hammer. Whether they know it or not doesn’t change this fact. You do not understand that a poor white person who is a settler still metes out their privilege over the indigenous people.
I’d also like to point out that this reply to you isn’t really about you. It is for posterity sake. If anyone else understands the points I’m making, then my job is done. If you do too, then that’s great. But the fact that you can gloss over systemic oppression that has crushed and continues to crush millions to tell a tale of woe about a single individual (your white great grandfather) tells me that you don’t get it and are painfully naive. That’s not an insult. A lot of people are naive about things. It’s how you respond to that naivete that matters. Instead of getting defensive, try to take in what I’m saying. I’ll proceed with 10 points. Everyone bare with me and try to read what I’m saying. I think it will be worth your time.
1. Never tell someone to calm down or take a deep breath when they are speaking from a place of experience on matters that you couldn’t even begin to comprehend. I’ll ignore the fact that you told me to take off my blinders because that was a bit comical. I laughed at that. Ok, you’ve told me what I need to do. Let me tell you what you need to do. Ideally, what you should do is listen. Someone has probably never spoken to you in this manner, at least not regularly. I know this because you wouldn’t have responded the way you did if people gave you ‘true talk’ regularly. I spoke with earnest truth, and you took it as anger, and not the earnest truth from experience and knowledge in an area you will never fully comprehend. It’s natural to be defensive. You need to fight that feeling and get over it. Never tone police people. The reason why my response reads angry to you is because conversations on race always assuage white people’s feelings. White people are central in the conversation. The unrelenting and unbridled voice from people like me who don’t cater to white people’s feelings will always be seen as hostile and aggressive, when in actuality, it is simply a retelling of what whiteness does.
2. I was speaking about what white supremacy does systemically to millions, and in response, you told me about your white orphaned great grandfather. Do you see the difference between those two scenarios? Can you see the actual difference there? When black people talk about race issues, they don’t just speak on an individual level, they also speak about it systematically and structurally. White people on the other hand can only speak about it individually i.e. “a black person did something mean to me”, “a black person was angry with me”, “my great grandfather was a poor white African who worked in the diamond mines”. Things of that nature.
3. Understand this: white supremacy is why “white South Africans” are a even a thing, and it’s why you can talk about your white African lineage like it is even legitimate. Did black South Africans grant your people citizenship when they arrived back in the day? Were they invited by black South Africans? It’s only legitimate because white people made it legitimate. No one asked the indigenous Africans of this legitimacy. Of course nationality pertaining to their land isn’t left for them to decide. You don’t get to decide things when you are being subjugated. Whiteness decides. Whiteness always decides. Like white people in Australia and New Zealand, whiteness decides who is who and what is what. I bet some of the white Aussies talk about their poor ancestors from Europe too, completely not taking into account how they got to be on the land in the first place. In another case of whiteness deciding, Europeans could emigrate to the US through Ellis Island and become citizens, while the black people who had been there for generations didn’t even have full citizen rights. Again whiteness decides. When a black person talks about the history of America, the equivalent of you is the white American that says things like “Not all white people are like that. My family was poor. They weren’t in America for slavery. My family didn’t have slaves!”. The black person speaking about this reality will be called angry by oblivious white people.
4. Speaking of anger, I wasn’t angry when I responded to your response to my post; but even if I was, so what? Don’t I have a right to be? I have every right to be angry. Anger is a real emotion. Anger does not invalidate a point someone is making. As mentioned at the end of this post, anger when appropriate is healthy and normal. When a black person talks about race issues, that person is labeled as angry. Nothing you said is not anything I haven’t heard before. That’s how it usually goes. Far too many black people are silenced when they get called angry. Not me. Personally, I’d prefer it if white people called me furious. Angry is getting a bit stale.
5. I also need to point this out; you responded to me in order to defend “white Africans”. I did not seek you out, you barged in. You took it upon yourself to tone police me and tell me that I need to adjust what I said, and that white people don’t choose where they are born etc. You did that. You started this, so please - do not act like I’m some “angry” person ranting at you. You took the time out of your day to reblog me and add your commentary to mine, chastising me, telling me to alter what I said about “white Africans”. You need to own that. That is textbook entitlement behavior. Someone who thinks they can dish out whatever they want to say, but the minute they get a response to their bile, they think they are being subjected to abuse. If you’re going to be brazenly and wantonly dropping your 2 cents where it doesn’t belong, I will call you out on it. You simply are not going to meekly act like a victim who is being yelled at by an angry person. Especially not when you initiated the contact. Oddly enough, you claimed to understand what I was trying to say, but still felt the need to talk about “white Africans”. It’s understandable, they are your people. It’s your lineage, but you were still out of line for having that take precedence in my opinion. Sex tourism, sexual exploitation, discrimination, white supremacy, imbalanced power dynamics, neocolonialism, none of that took precedence for you. What you had to comment on first was “white Africans”. You had to defend their honor. Whiteness always finds a way to take center stage.
It is also really telling that my thoughtful response to you after your intrusion was taken as me “flying off the handle”. If you consider that flying off the handle, then you’ve never experienced real rage leveled at you before. I on the other hand have. You take a guess at who the perpetrators were. You see, the difference between you and me is that what you consider flying off the handle are words on a screen. When white supremacy flies off the handle, people die, they get raped, they have their livelihoods taken away, they have their lands settled on, and they get colonized. Their freedom fighters, activists and leaders who challenge white supremacy get murdered, tortured or thrown in jail. People are stripped of their identities, they are forced to speak the colonizer’s language (I’m typing this in English, am I not?), they get exploited and they always have their natural resources and mineral wealth taken away. Like the diamond mines your great grandfather worked in. This is the truth. Take it anyway you like, but it will always be the truth.
6. So your great grandfather worked in a diamond mine? Truly a pity. That is backbreaking work. I do not wish that on anyone. One question though, who did he work for? Who controlled those mines? Who was he meting out that labor for, and who did it benefit? Did the indigenous Africans benefit from it? The fact that he did the work does not negate the beneficiaries of that work. Furthermore, as a settler, he is not in the same predicament as the indigenous people. Do you understand that? Your great grandfather being an orphan and a mine worker does not change the system of oppression on the land he was on, and the power dynamics at work. He was orphaned in South Africa, and I would ask how his parents came to be on that land, but that is irrelevant. I don’t need to ask. Despite all the vast spaces in Europe, white people like them came to Africa. They were able to come because European colonizers were carving Africa like a cake, and they all gorged themselves on that cake. It doesn’t matter how good your great grandfather is or was, the door was opened because of colonizers. Their marginalization of the indigenous population was the welcoming committee. They settled on land that wasn’t theirs to settle on, and white people came without the consent and approval of the indigenous. This point is the only one worth considering. Everything else is extraneous.
It’s funny, many Europeans these days love to talk about “illegal immigrants” in their home countries, despite the fact that Europeans have been gallivanting and settling in the countries of people of color for centuries. I wonder if they needed to show the indigenous people visas, green cards and assorted documentation before they settled in years past. That’s a rhetorical point of course. We all know whiteness doesn’t need approval to do what it wants to do. Including moving into your country and settling on your land. That’s the history of black and brown people all over the world. White man saw, came and conquered everything. But not to worry, a poor white orphan was on one of those settled lands, so that negates everything. <sarcasm>
7. If your great grandfather was not an orphan, he probably would not have had to work in the diamond mines, but even if he had his biological parents around and still worked the mines, it changes nothing. The African mine workers didn’t have to be orphaned to work those mines. They had to do it because they were colonized. It was either do that and use the meager earnings for some morsels to eat or die. Many were conscripted to do it, so they didn’t even have a choice. Listen to Hugh Masekela’s ‘Stimela’. Just listen to his words in the beginning. It is relevant. Also keep in mind that even after they were forced to strip the mineral wealth off their own land to enrich white colonizers, they were still treated harshly and were brutalized and murdered for being black. Your great grandfather did not have to worry about treatment like that from the ruling colonizers. Your great grandfather worked in the mines out of circumstance, and his whiteness in South Africa still meant he was above even a black doctor or lawyer in terms of social standing (not that I believe in hierarchies like that anyway, but I’m making a point here). His skin gave him protection. If he stayed and grew old in South Africa, he would have enjoyed the privileges that an apartheid government would have afforded him because of his whiteness. This does not get negated because he worked in a diamond mine. Do you get that? The fact that he managed to eventually get out from mine work and move to England is white privilege. The African mine workers had no such luxury. They worked there until they died. They couldn’t save up enough after a while and hop on a plane back to jolly ol’ England to live out the rest of their lives. Only a settler, or the child of a settler can do that. The indigenous Africans worked and died on their exploited land. Your great grandfather went back to the British Empire. Please don’t expect me to feel sympathy for his “hardship” in light of this fact.
8. Bringing up why some white people were orphaned in South Africa means what to black people exactly? No, just think about what you are saying. You said some white people were orphaned because they were abandoned, or because they were rejected by their parents, others because of war. Who did those things? The wars, rejection and abandonment was initiated by whom exactly? It sure wasn’t the indigenous Africans, so what is your point? Do you understand how irrelevant this point is to someone who has been colonized? These are issues amongst white people. An African did not start wars against colonizing forces. The colonizers and settlers are the aggressors. Colonizing and settling are acts of aggression against the indigenous. Their presence is aggression. Abandonment and rejection of white children by their white parents is awful. However, this is not an indigenous African’s issue. White people should sort that out amongst themselves.
9. Stop talking about how you feel, or that you are frustrated by racial inequality. If you feel frustrated, well how do you think black people feel? How do you think the people of the world brutalized by white supremacy feel? It’s not about you or your feelings. Have some empathy. Are you capable of that, or will you just talk about how you feel, the plight of your white great grandfather, how you personally don’t segregate based on race (how kind of you!), or that I’m angrily ranting and flying off the handle? I’m not angry, but I reserve the right to be angry.
10. In conclusion, to reiterate my earlier point. I’m responding to you, but in actuality, it’s not really about you. I’m doing this for the sake of posterity, and that hopefully my points will resonate with someone else reading this. If it ever resonates with you, then that’s great - but if it doesn’t, then that’s fine as well. You are not the first, nor will you be the last person to not get it. I navigate through spaces where people never get it. Life is easier for them when they don’t get it and when they are willfully oblivious. I can’t afford to be oblivious. I have to be aware. It’s a survival mechanism for me. In this sense, I’m a veteran of a war against people who are hell bent on being oblivious, and against people who continue to uphold systems that are designed to crush people like me. When a dialogue is about systemic oppression, exploitation and white supremacy, an oblivious person will tell you about their poor white great grandfather who was an orphan. In their warped sense of thinking, they think that is comparable and should be mentioned when talking about the systemic oppression, land grabs and brutal colonialism of indigenous people on their land by white people. Now that is the height of privilege.